Is your thinking style doing you any favours?
The countdown to your ANNUAL holiday has begun…but is that a good thing?’
As kids we are taught the script that will guide us through our whole life. We are told what’s right or wrong and what’s good or bad in order to keep us safe and make sure we fit in. At school we are told what we are good at and where we need to try harder. As adults we grow into labels that become easy to internalise; the high-flyer or the lay-about; the entrepreneur or the employee; the traveller or the family man.
Are labels holding you back?
Categorising our experiences into neat little boxes makes our world seem less stressful and demanding. We label things to make it easier to understand their place in the world and our opinions in relation to them. The problem is that more and more of us don’t want to lead a life which fits into a neat category. But a lifetime of thinking according to a certain script can make it tricky for us to see a way out.
Choose what you want to believe
When we’ve been told that you can’t earn money without working really hard; that you can’t have months overseas unless you are retired; that you can’t run your own business without a huge amount of investment; accepting that these things don’t have to be true can be difficult.
But the trick is right there in front of you. You have a choice. You can believe that these statements are true, or you can accept that they don’t have to be. The reality for you will be in what you choose to believe.
Maybe your script will be to visit a new culture every 6 months?
So here are some challenging statements for you to consider
What’s your response to these, deep down?
- You can travel whenever you like
- You can earn a living from wherever you like
- You don’t have to work for someone else
- You can create a job for yourself
- You can create your own security
- You can work when you choose
- You don’t need a business degree to run a business
- You don’t have to have huge amounts of money to follow your dreams
- You can love what you do
- You can feel like you are on holiday even on days when you’ve worked
Of course the opposite is also true…
- You can only take 2 weeks off every summer
- You can only travel once a year as a luxury
- Someone else will give you a job and security
- Someone else will determine your career success
- You’ll work a minimum of 40 hours a week
- You can relax when you get to the weekend
- You will enjoy more freedom when you retire
Re-writing your script
Here is how it is for us:
We KNOW we can travel when we like, have plenty of time to hike, explore, play.
We KNOW we can earn money from anywhere in the world and that it doesn’t cost too much to have a comfortable, varied and fulfilling lifestyle.
We KNOW there are loads of people living in lots of different ways that bring them all the freedom they want- because we’ve met SO many of them.
We KNOW all these things are possible because we do them every day.
We haven’t done anything that isn’t possible for anyone who wants it. You can start to ‘know’ these things too.
Honestly, it wasn’t always easy to overcome our script because we’d been taught to believe something very different. Occasionally, even now, I have days where I doubt myself and what we are achieving. But real life experience is a wonderful way to rewrite stubborn programming, and nothing is going to teach you more about what is possible than just going out and giving it a go!
Our script now has ‘chill in the sea in Fiji’ written in it!’
You can only change your own path
There are people who care about us who don’t believe these things. Their script is very clear that these things aren’t possible. Their belief is that if you aren’t employed in a 9-5 job earning a set salary then you are in a precarious position. That if you are out of the country then you are on holiday. That if some of your week is spent doing fun things then the work you do isn’t very worthwhile. But that’s ok. There doesn’t have to be a right or wrong way, and differences in beliefs don’t have to cause conflict. The path will be different for all of us.
The important element is to think about what is more likely to bring YOU fulfillment and contentment. Choose to believe in things which support that. Then you can start to take the steps to write the script that really works for you.
What is your script telling you? Are there any conflicts in what you want and what you believe?
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